My counsellor said that writing about how I feel may help me cope, so here goes:

'She looked at me and said, "Think about all the things you disliked about him, it will help you to realise how much better off you are without him." I stared at her with disbelief. "But," I say, "there is nothing that I dislike about him." And its true. Sure at times I may have gotten annoyed and sure we got cranky at each other, but there are no particular things that I dislike. Instead, all I can think about is the things I love. I remember how he used to give the best hugs - those ones that engulf you and mkae you feel safe. Now I feel so vulnerable without his arms wrapped around me. I remember how he used to kiss me so gently on my forehead. It was cute and made me feel special. I remember how he used to hold my hand when we walked into a room full of people that I didn't know. Now, I have to do this by myself and I wonder how I am going to cope. Its hard to let go when I wasn't prepared. He never leaves my dreams. He haunts my thoughts during the day. I can't move on when he is everything I know.'